I have decided to put YouTube on hold because (as I stated in my last blog entry) I am finding it really hard and it is stressing me out a bit. The feeling of sitting there in front of a camera seems really unnatural and daunting to me, like when I have to do public speaking or something. I have shot videos before, but I rarely feel like this. I am hoping that this feeling will fade sooner or later, hopefully when I feel I have enough time for such a time-consuming hobby in my life.
Until then, I am going to carry on with blogging as I have really grown to love it over the past few months and it is something that I feel comes naturally to me :)
Another thing that has caught my attention over the last few days is Zoella (a blogger/YouTuber) and her #DontPanicButton campaign (part of her role as an ambassador of Mind, a mental health charity). The aim is that as many people as possible wear a red button on them in some form (e.g. a badge or bracelet) to show support for those who suffer from anxiety and/or panic attacks.
In case you have not been reading my blog recently, I have talked a bit about suffering from social anxiety, although I have not yet mentioned that I also suffer occasionally suffer from panic attacks too (it is something that I do not particularly want to describe in depth). I am planning to take part in the #DontPanicButton campaign, but I sadly cannot get hold of any red buttons at the moment (doh!). I'll make a post out of it when I can find some! :)
I have always admired Zoe's ease when it comes to talking about anxiety and panic attacks both on her blog and in her videos, as it takes bravery to discuss in depth your own mental health disorder - mainly because it is quite a personal (and therefore scary) thing to talk about and also because it is so taboo. This is partly due to the fact that others can be quite disrespectful towards those who are open about mental health disorders - some people even see it as attention seeking!!
Due to this, Zoe tweeted (about some comments on a few of her vlogs):
Doesn’t make me want to share it. Saying that my anxiety is an excuse to be lazy? Urgh. I’d had this for TEN YEARS! Over and out.
and
Comments like those are the exact reason i’m choosing to work with a mental health charity. Ignorance is very ugly.I definitely think we need more people like Zoella to help people set the record straight when it comes to what these mental health disorders really are. Once society does begin to understand them in more depth, hopefully anxiety and panic attacks (as well as many other mental health disorders) will no longer be taboo.
In other news, today I managed to hoover up a certain family member's underwear (by accident). I experience of having to admit this to my family member was quite surreal, and I was laughing quite hysterically (even if that family member wasn't)... This is why I should never be given the opportunity to live alone. Ever. I worry for my future-self sometimes!
After watching The Maze Runner with my friend yesterday, I have started reading the first book, and it is quite cool so far :) I may or may not update you on that when I am further on in the story.
Speak to you later,
Lucy x
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