New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year!!

Pinch, punch, first day of the month! 
(does anyone else do that?)

Woah, where the hell did 2015 come from? I certainly did not see it coming! I seriously cannot believe how close my 15th birthday is, it seems like I was 13 just yesterday. So much has changed in the past few years, it's crazy. This time last year I don't think I could have really anticipated my life being the way it is now. I am hardly different from my 13-year-old self, but at the same time I have changed somehow. 

Change seems to be a theme today, doesn't it? New Year's Day is always the perfect excuse for people to try to transform their lives (and then realising in March that they have completely failed to improve their lifestyle in any way!). Last year I remember my New Year's Resolution was to drink less Diet Coke (I was obviously aiming very high in my goals) and I managed that(not that it was at all difficult). 

This blog post, however, is not about giving up chocolate (as if!) or working out every day (like I have time for that kind of commitment), but about rethinking my decisions. Recently I have not been happy with my confidence, and how my social anxiety has been affecting my decisions. Earlier this year I was meaning to start a YouTube channel, but as soon as I turned on my camera, I froze and couldn't bring myself to say a word. It was horrible. 

So one of my goals for 2015 is to ease myself into situations I may not be completely comfortable with. That does not mean throwing myself into every opportunity that comes my way, I do need to know when to say when. I have also been kind of short of time recently, so even if I was that crazy, it would leave me with no time for schoolwork or anything. 

One thing that I would like to be able to do without freaking out is going to concerts. I am going to two different concerts this year, and I know for a fact that one of them is really crowded without any seats, and just loads and loads of people standing up. I'm not going to specify what concert or where the concert will be held due to privacy reasons, but when I imagine it in my head, I can just see myself stuck in the middle of this crowd, being pushed and shoved in a massive mob.
However, the concert is for an artist who I deeply adore, and even though the idea of being in this crowd scares me an unfathomable amount, I am extremely excited for going to the concert with one of my best friends! Before I thought the whole thing over, I really didn't think I would be comfortable and wasn't sure I wanted to put myself into a position that made me feel that vulnerable, but now I am sure that I will not regret this concert once I am there, and I will make the most of the day :)

One thing that has convinced me to have this as my New Year's Resolution is that recently there was an incident at my school (without naming any names) where someone was treated disrespectfully due to their panic disorder, and for once in my life, I stood up for that person (that person wasn't me, in case you were worrying, it was a friend of mine!).
I told the disrespectful person exactly what he/she needed to hear without losing the high ground/going into full-scale bitching (because bitching really isn't my style!), and although the whole experience took me out of my comfort zone and made me feel really exposed for actually opening my mouth to speak my mind for once in my life, it felt seriously amazing! It gave me a feeling of strength that I feel like I might have lost quite a while ago, and I am so glad I did it. I did feel panicky afterwards and had to have a sit down for a minute, but I think I did a great thing and my friend said I was really scary (I think that was a good thing!). 
Although I am hardly looking for any conflict or aggressive confrontation, I would definitely say what I said again, and I will definitely make sure to speak my mind in the future :)

I suppose this post is the return of my meaningful advice posts, so if you have the same kind of problem as I do, I recommend you to have a New Year's Resolution that is similar to mine - remember to try new things. You may find public situations and confrontations terrifying, but sometimes it is good to go out of your comfort zone. 
I hope you find this goal empowering, and if you are like me and choose this resolution, I hope it makes a positive impact on your life :)

What is your New Year's Resolution? Is it something like this, or are you just hoping to work off all the chocolate you ate over the holidays (I should really do that too, haha). 

Best wishes for the new year,
Lucy x

If you are not feeling empowered enough, here is "Something Big" by Shawn Mendes (it is one of my favourite songs right now!) :)