Despite this, these were the words that were running through my head as I dialed the number for my work experience placement. I remember them very clearly as my mum had to tell my sister to Please get off YouTube! so that our connection wouldn't fail while I tried to collect the details of my work next week. I was absolutely terrified, and these words stuck with me, refusing to leave me be.
A very important phone call.
A very important phone call.
They sounded so alien, and... well... grown up.
I've never really liked the idea of growing up (#PeterPanProblems). For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a teenager, around 16 years old (though to be honest, I think that this is mainly because the girl who was my best friend throughout childhood was fixated on it), though I've never wanted to be grown up. Growing up means responsibilities and bills and things I didn't even want to begin to consider.
Don't get me wrong, responsibilities can be cool. Now that I am in Year 10 and 15 years old, I have began to appreciate the trust adults have been giving me. I have always found it annoying when an adult assumed that I wasn't "mature enough to handle a situation" or "was too young to understand" blah blah blah. The truth is, yeah, I'm not very old. But I'm not very young either. The fact that I am now respected is actually very nice and relieving.
I feel like being a teenager can be very difficult though, when you really think about it. Society acts as if we are immature and moan about everything, but it's true. Because we're in the transition years where we are not ready for many aspects of adulthood, though at the same time we are not children and shouldn't be spoken down to, adults rarely know how to speak to us.
Tomorrow morning, I will be leaving to start my first day of a two-week-long work experience, and all week teachers have been reminding all of Year 10 how we will be "treated as adults", and I just think that is going to be so weird. For the past eleven years of my life, I have not even been given the permission to pee when I want to, and suddenly I am all capable and responsible. I am an "adult", and will be treated as one by my fellow adults, and I find that really cool. Obviously I know that work is work, and I will not be all OOH FREEDOM, and do whatever I want regardless of the consequences because I'M AN ADULT NOW, because I will be getting down to my work and not abusing the responsibility I am given, but... I don't know. I'm confused.
Of course, I am looking forward to my work experience. I'm working in an actual dressing up shop, which was my first choice, is probably the coolest thing that has ever happened ever, so I am extremely happy about that!! It's also going to be really interesting for me to get a clear idea of how a professional working environment works and how I will be treated in any future jobs, but I know for a fact that it will also be terrifying. I'm going to have to get used to a whole new way of working, both with and without other people, and as you have probably guessed by now, I am not great at being thrown into new environments.
Nevertheless, like I did when I was taken from the primary school I had been in for seven years and thrown into the crazy and confusing world of secondary school, I know that I will accustom myself to it and try my hardest. I will not let my fear stop me from making the most of the experience.
The whole thing has made me realise how fast we are growing up though. Soon, I could have a proper job like this. I have friends who have jobs - my best friend Katie works in a bar and some of my other friends have small jobs like paper-rounds and babysitting. For them, this is just like trying out a different kind of job, while for me it is a completely different story.
And it's not just the jobs.
I have friends who, next year, are going to attempt to get their driving licenses.
We are approaching the end of Year 10, meaning that we are verging Year 11 territory, and after Year 11 is the deep, endless void of THE REAL WORLD *shudders*
I have just completed my first round of GCSE science exams and I have no idea how I did other than the fact that physics is not my strong point *tries to laugh it off but ends up violently sobbing instead*
This has basically all that has been going on in my mind for quite a while now. It's thrilling and daunting, so I'm not really sure how I'm feeling about it other than that I have been anticipating it for so long now. The one thing that I'm definitely certain of is that no matter how old and responsible I become, I will never stop doing the things that make me childishly happy, like going on sleepovers, concerts, and my old primary school's summer fetes.
Give me your opinions on growing up and general nostalgia in the comments :)
Speak to you soon,
Lucy x
Currently listening to:
(strangely appropriate but coincidental)
My latest YouTube video:
(warning: by the end, we are all very hyper!)
I just realised that both of these are 5sos themed. #sorrynotsorry
