Drowning - a poem

In the begininning, I'm floating,
my body resting peacefully on the clear blue water
that stretches out as far as the eye can see.
Blissfully unaware.

I don't see the tidal wave coming.
It has built up over a long time,
constructed of my anxieties and fears and doubts,
I can feel it, even before it reaches me,
though I cannot see it. 

It plagues the sea.
The sky that was once calm and peaceful
is now dark and enraged.
The lightning that slices through the clouds 
reaches out to grab me,
and the water threatens to envelop me 
at any moment. 

And then the wave is upon me,
crashing into me,
knocking me off balance.
Suddenly, I have forgotten what it is to float.

At first, I trash around, 
trying to grip onto something, anything,
in order to feel stable again,
but I feel only the water slipping through my fingertips. 

I am slowly being submerged
by the thing that was once supporting me.
I feel my heart plunge into the depths,
sinking. 

My chin is just above the water now. 
I scream for help, but there is no one to be seen. 

In my mouth, I begin to taste salt. 

Eventually, I stop struggling
and let myself fall. 
Immediately, I feel the water stinging my eyes
and filling my nose.
I can't breathe. 

I hit the bottom,
the impact releasing the last of the air from my lungs. 

At that moment, I see them;
the people on their raft,
the people who could have saved me. 
I hear their muffled, familiar voices,
talking, laughing,
as they glide across the glimmering water,
Blissfully unaware.

I wrote this poem yesterday at one o'clock in the morning, as my mind was refusing to shut up and I felt that the only way I could get past this was through writing (this kind of thing happens regularly!). I think it's reasonably good for something that was written while I was incredibly sleep deprived - my eyes were actually blurring from the tiredness! 

Although I love writing (like, a lot) I don't usually write poetry, and haven't done so in over a year, I think. It's only something I've ever done for school, but apparently I also like doing it at 1am on a Sunday too... 

Please leave a comment on my video or leave a comment below telling me what you think, and click "like" if you enjoy this style of video. This kind of thing is very new for me - as you will have discovered from my last blog post, I write a lot, though I don't often share it - so it would be nice to get some feedback :)

Speak to you soon, 
Lucy x