New Year's Resolutions: Rewind

This isn't going to be a blog post where I set myself New Year's Resolutions, but instead I would like to look back at the resolution I set myself last year. I feel like, although we are hopeful in January that we will manage to transform our lives for the better throughout the course of the year ahead, we never really stop at any point to see whether we have actually seen our goals through. 

To see this year's resolutions, you can watch my YouTube video here:

Now is the time to put my resolution skills to the test. About this time last year, I wrote a blog post setting myself one goal for 2015: to ease myself into situations that I may not feel completely comfortable in. 

Honestly, I feel like I have a long way to go with this one, though I am proud of the progress I have made. One of the main focuses for this one is the fact that I would be attending quite a few concerts in 2015. This time last year, the idea of going to concerts was incredibly daunting. Although I love music as well as music artists (in 2015, I saw Taylor Swift and 5SOS), concerts have not been my kind of scene. They include many people and enclosed spaces - a nerve-wracking combination. 

I did struggle with concerts during 2015, a bit. Towards the end of the year, I attended one concert that was a little too crowded and suffocating, and I ended up being harassed by a drunk man twice my age (it was as fun as it sounds). In the end, I had to leave to narrowly avoid having a panic attack. Despite the humiliation and discomfort of the scary experience, I learned from it. In future, I will know that, if I feel at all uncomfortable or close to a panic attack in another situation like this, to leave instead of hanging round to see if it gets better, as I did at the time. I will know who to trust (and by that I mean a little more than questioning the company of 30ish-year-old men), and who will not be helpful in this scenario. There will be some people who will be conscious of my well-being and there will be some who are caught up in the moment and atmosphere. 

Also, note to self: bouncers are not authority figures, and they will not help if things start to go wrong (unless violence is involved, in which case, it is within their job description).

Although this experience was horrible at the time, I now know what and what not to do to ensure that the same thing does not occur again. The rest of my concert experiences in 2015 have been incredible - Taylor Swift put on an amazing show, as usual (she even brought Cara Delevigne!!!), and my friends and I were so hyped at the end of the 5SOS Birmingham concert that I wasn't sure I would ever get to sleep! I have been given a bit of an education on concerts, an although it was terrifying at times, I enjoyed it overall. Now I can look forward to my 2016 concerts (bring on the Sounds Good Feels Good tour!). 

Other than that, early-2015 me wanted me to speak my mind in 2015, and I can definitely say that I did that! I am now more accustomed to standing up for myself in situations where I feel that someone is wrong and/or offensive. I have developed more mature opinions and become a more open-minded person. Early-2015 me spoke about one incident in which I spoke my mind, and I have not stopped since. Inevitably, a lot of the time it still does make me anxious. I can leave discussions shaking and in need of fresh-air and some space, though I do not regret voicing my thoughts. I'd rather feel anxious about having said the thing than hating myself for not saying it later on.

I hope you achieved your 2015 resolutions and wish you the best of luck for your 2016 ones!

Best wishes,

Lucy x

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