I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas/holiday season (whichever is more important to you!). I got multiple pokemon hats, so I am pretty happy with the gifts I received! If you celebrate Christmas, feel free to tell me your favourite present(s) in the comments ^.^ It seems to have been a thing over the past three years that I take a selfie on Christmas day with what has turned into my Christmas face so, just to continue the tradition...
2013
2014
2015
(present)
I think I've changed quite subtly since last year, but what even am I in the first picture? Also the quality of my selfies seems to be improving.
I've decided to make it my New Year's Resolution to start writing again. Recently, I've been finding it really hard to put sentences together - not just on my blog, but in my spare time too. Until earlier this week, I can't remember the last time I was working on a story (yes, I am now writing a story!). Since a very young age, I have loved writing, and creating my own content and outlets, but I've been so tired recently that it's impossible to find the energy or creative motivation to write anything. I claimed in November that my blog would be resurrected, but that just hasn't been happening. I think it's mostly down to how tired I am.
For now, at least, I am writing. I don't know whether I will post some of my stories as blog posts in the future (I don't know how much you guys would be interested my stories, for a start), but if I could create content again, that would be cool. As a quite creative person, it is infuriating when my mind turns blank!
I've tried for so long to create a blog post that summarises the three month break I've taken from blogging, but somehow I can't find the words, so this will have to do. Hello, it's me.
Yes, the gif was necessary. One of the main reasons I've felt so determined to write a blog post was because I really don't want to stop blogging altogether. This website was what got me into creating my own content on the internet before my channel or anything else, and I don't want to lose this. As pretentious as it sounds, this blog is a big part of who I am. It's hard to summarise what's been going on since I last blogged, because there is just so much to say. Last week I took my mock GCSE exams. I know that they are mocks, and are not the real thing, but they were so nerve-wracking. It genuinely felt like taking the real thing (and if this is just a small portion of the stress I will receive next year, then I sure am looking forward to that). The reason why I think they meant so much to me was because they count towards our predicted grades, which our Sixth Form colleges will receive before we take our actual exams. This means that they will be judging us before we even take the exams in the summer, because we not get receive our results immediately following the exams, and the sixth form colleges need something to go on. I have not got all of my results back yet as some of my tests are still being marked, though if there's one results that I'm happy with so far is my French reading one, as I received an A*! I've been quite anxious about my French recently as I have felt like I could have been doing better than I have been, so obviously I was thrilled with my mark. Now I need to make sure I focus on my writing assessments, because I have struggled memorising some of those. I think a lot of the pressure I have been feeling could be due to the fact that I have taken French since a young age. You would think this would help, but the fact that I have been learning French for 3-4 years more than everyone else makes me feel like I should always be better, simply because I have that extra experience. At least I now know what I need to focus on to improve! (Oh God, I sound like a really enthusiastic teacher) The result that I was definitely dreading the most was definitely my maths result. I have always loathed maths with a fiery passion that resides deep within my soul (it's that bad). What I really hate about maths is that there's no room for opinions or interpretation. Your answer is either right or wrong, which I hate, not only because I find that incredibly boring but also because I am a very opinionated person (I have an opinion on everything!). I know that this is the exact same reason why some people love maths: they'd rather not share their opinion and enjoy the simplicity of the subject. For some reason though, I was especially nervous about this exam. I had to take two: the non-calculator test and the calculator test. First was the non-calculator test, and I'd been unsatisfied with my results, so I was petrified that I would fail. The calculator test was the last of my exams, so there had been a huge build-up to it. It was like the stress of one exam plus my hatred of maths plus all the stress of the other exams, so needless to say I was glad that I wouldn't have to sit any more after that. Long story short, after enduring a rather horrible panic attack before the exam yet still going in to finish it, I ended up passing with a C! I know that for some people a C would be disappointing, but I was so glad I passed as maths is most likely my worst subject (maybe with the exception of PE, but I don't get examined on that), and I thought that was pretty bloody miraculous after having a panic attack beforehand. Now that our mock exams our over, the sixth form open days will take place, which I'm excited for. Today I visited the sixth form that I think I am most likely to go to, but obviously I can't be sure yet. Nevertheless, I enjoyed my visit and the atmosphere. I found it weird to see students who weren't in uniform, as I have worn school uniform for as long as I have been in education (though obviously that wasn't the only thing I liked about the place!). I think I am going to go now because I am so tired that I feel as if my brain consists of cotton wool, and I have had a long day (I was knocked off my bike this morning on my way to school, but that is a different story).
Speak to you soon (if I manage to keep this up), Lucy xx
This blog post is very different from the kind I would usually make (which, funnily enough would be none at all, because I am lazy), as it is kind of fashion-y-ish. My look in this blog post is partly of inspired by Liesel's look in the movie "The Book Thief" - which, by the way, is amazing. I watched it the other night and loved it - I had to try really hard not to cry (if you know me, you will be aware that I cry at quite a lot of movies). I would definitely recommend the movie, and am currently reading the book. Liesel has curly that is in different hairstyles throughout the movie as her hair grows to different lengths, and one of my favourite hairstyles of hers is when it is in bunches.
My hair is naturally wavy and I'm not usually bothered to use heat on it (I can't straighten my hair as it only gets frizzy and annoying, and my hair is quite straight as it is), so it was quite interesting trying to curl it. I do own overnight hair curlers, though I don't tend to use them because I then have trouble sleeping (my hair is very thick and hair curlers are very lumpy!).
This time I had to experiment a bit when curling my hair by using hair straighteners. I'd heard that you can curl your hair with straighteners before, and I don't own a curling wand, so this was the next best thing. I failed the first time and had to watch more hair tutorials than I care to admit before I succeeded. I tied my hair in bunches beforehand so that I would have less hair to curl, and I think it turned out alright...
(keep in mind that this picture was taken after a walk in the rain, my hair was considerably more curly before!) I also have a small obsession with vintage clothes, so I bought this 1940s style dress off amazon for £16 - which I think very good value for money. I will leave the link here.
I didn't do my makeup too differently. I wanted the main focus to be the lips, so I went for a bright pink lipstick (I would have gone for red, but I don't personally think I suit it very much). My eyes are a pale gold colour with a brown outline around the lid, which I think is quite subtle.
(I like this photo because it is unintentionally dramatic)
I don't know whether I'll continue to buy vintage-style clothes (though I will definitely be curling my hair more often), it just seemed like a really fun thing to do. I think it also temporarily raised my confidence a bit, too - my skin is going crazy at the moment and I can't seem to control it, so trying this out made me feel awesome. Not only that, but school starts tomorrow, and I want to be able to look as crazy as I want before I have to revert back to my usual look of school uniform, combined with eye-bags and rain-drenched hair...
It's not all bad, though - I am definitely excited to see my friends, and I am looking forward to a few classes, such as drama and English. I feel like going back to school with restore some order back to my life (e.g. a sleep schedule!).
Wishing you the best of luck in the next school year,
I'm really sorry to say that I won't be uploading a VEDA video today (I promise I have something in store for tomorrow!). This is due to the fact that my anaemia seems to have worsened since my last video, in which I discussed being a pescatarian and how it has started to affect me. You can watch it here, if you like (although it's not necessary for you to understand this blog post):
Brief summary of the video:
I am pescatarian (the only meat I eat is fish) and have been for eight months
Unfortunately, I have started feeling weak and floppy, and have started sleeping a very unusual amount.
I think this is due to anaemia (an iron deficiency), due to the fact that there is not enough iron in my blood now that I eat minimal meat.
Although this is unfortunate, I do not regret becoming a pescatarian.
I am now taking iron supplements and watching my iron-intake.
After uploading this video, I had a pretty average day. I had already swam earlier on in the day, so I had used up a lot of energy, and throughout the day I made sure to eat a few things that were rich in iron (including apricots, apparently). I stayed up until 11:45 watching a TV show on Netflix with my parents, and then got ready for bed.
It was when I was taking off my makeup in the bathroom mirror that I began to feel sick (and not the fever kind). It came on with no warning whatsoever, which was very startling, because only a few seconds before, I had been feeling fine (if a little weak and floppy - but this seemed only normal due to the fact that I already suspected I had anaemia and was quite tired anyway).
My mum was in the bathroom with me at the time, so I told her immediately. I can't remember her response because, as quickly as I started feeling sick, I started feeling dizzy. I started to panic (I don't like losing control), but my head was spinning too fast for me to really do anything. My mum told me to sit down on the side of the bath...
...and that's the last thing I really remember.
The next thing I knew, my mum was saying something about not falling into the bin. I opened my eyes and I was on the floor, my mum trying her best to hold me up and prevent my head from falling into the bathroom bin. I had tried to sit down on the edge of the bath and failed - falling on the floor heavily instead.
I must have looked like an absolute mess. I was halfway through wiping the black eye makeup from one eyelid, the remainder of it smudged around my face like a panda (not that pandas aren't cool). I had also started to cry - upset and very, very confused. I had never fainted before in my life - apart from that one time in the subway station in New York a year ago. My mum said that I had only been out for a matter of seconds, but I had no way of knowing.
I don't know how long I was crouched on the bathroom floor with my head between my knees whilst crying for, but I remember feeling incredibly foggy, asking a lot of questions and saying some pretty stupid stuff. I was hitting my arm with my bracelet because it was tingling (and I was pretty out-of-it).
My favourite comment I made was probably when my mum was talking about how she was anaemic when she was pregnant with me, and she fainted a lot, and I said "I'm not pregnant". Like, of course you're not, you idiot!! I think I meant to say it in an angry way, like "I don't even have an excuse for it, though", but I ended up sounding really stupid instead.
My mum scheduled a doctor's appointment for the morning and said that she would sleep in my room in case anything else happened (nothing did, thankfully).
Before I knew it, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room with my mum and my brother (who was playing on his DS because there was no one to look after him at home and he needs to be using technology at all times!). My appointment ended up being 20 minutes later than scheduled, as I think it was quite a busy time of day for them. I was feeling noticeably better, and didn't feel like I was going to do anything out of the ordinary, though I still wasn't great.
When my name was called, my brother was trying to show me a Mii he had created on his DS that looked like a fish (which was funny, but not entirely helpful). Once we were in the doctor's office, my mum explained what was wrong ("she's very weak and fainted last night etc."), and then we were asked a few questions concerning things like my diet and sleeping patterns ("she's a vegetarian-" NO I AM NOT, MOTHER "and she keeps falling asleep"). I was too shy to mention that I am a pescatarian, but never mind...
My blood pressure was measured on one of those squeezy-arm things that are incredibly odd, but not massively uncomfortable. We used to have a toy-version in the toy-box when we were children, but I once saw a real one in a biology class when my friend volunteered to test it out. He screamed a lot, but I think he was surprised and wanted to make a big show of it to freak people out. I had to push my hair behind my shoulders so that the doctor could hear my heart with the stethoscope, stick my tongue out to be examined (before looking really silly when the doctor told me to put it back in and I didn't understand what she was saying) and then have her look into my eyes really intensely.
Afterwards, she suggested a blood test, which, to be honest, I had been expecting in the first place. We decided on a day later this week and she offered a prescription for a numbing gel that I could put on at home before going in, and I accepted. She didn't really mention anything else apart from that "snacking between meals is very important" (which I can definitely deal with!). Before collecting the numbing gel from the pharmacy, my mum bought loads of stuff from the shop next-door that were high in iron (mostly things that consisted of nuts and chocolate, because I don't like nuts on their own).
Since then, I have been fine. I have been for a walk with my dog without anything weird happening apart from me feeling generally tired out, but I'm not longer sick or dizzy. I have been eating nuts all day *inappropriate snigger* as well as other snack-ish type stuff (I don't know why I am so hungry!). Don't feel like you have to worry about me or anything - I'm sure I will feel a bit better soon :)
For any of you who have been watching my YouTube videos, you will realise that, for the past few days, I haven't uploaded VEDA videos - something that I was originally planning to do. I wish I did have a massively dramatic excuse as to why I haven't posted (like, I have been out there living my life to the full instead of staying at home and eating doritos), but my life is hardly too exciting! Somehow, I just feel mentally tired and drained. I don't know what it is exactly - the school year is over, so it's not like I have a particular reason for my lack of sleep. Even when I do stay up ridiculously late the night before (like I did at a sleepover two nights ago), I always have the time to sleep in for hours and hours before I have to do something productive. From the minute I decided to go for VEDA, I decided that I would not upload any content that I wasn't proud of and didn't really want on my channel. Typically, VEDA videos are uploaded to YouTubers' second/vlogging channels (as the content is not supposed to be at such a high-standard on that channel), but all my videos have been uploaded to my main channel. I do not own a second channel, as I don't feel as if there would be much use in me having one - I don't tend to vlog too often, so it would only really be used for VEDA videos. I can't exactly explain it, but I feel as if my brain has turned to mush. If "creative juices" are supposed to "flow" or whatever, there is some kind of drought or water blockage going on in my head. Although I have been writing and planning a bit, I haven't been doing nearly as much as usual, and that freaks me out a bit because I am always writing. When I have days like these (which aren't too common, but do appear occasionally), it isn't just about a lack of creativity. I just don't feel like myself - it's like I am absent from my brain or something. I don't know whether or not that is because I am so used to writing that when I don't, I am freaked out, or because of something totally different. I usually just wait them out, because it can't last forever, but in a way, I feel worse about it now than I do when it happens in school. I think this is because I feel I have an obligation to make videos, even though that choice is optional and completely up to me. I have felt terrible for the past two days about not uploading, even though I know I shouldn't. It's hardly as if anyone is going to particularly miss my videos! Hopefully, I will upload tomorrow, as I do have something planned, as long as I no longer feel numb. I'm sorry that this blog post was so weird. I just felt like I had some things to clarify because I feel so lazy, even though I'm trying (I'm promise!). Speak to you soon, Lucy xx
My latest YouTube video:
(I filmed and edited this before rushing off to a sleepover - it has to be the quickest video ever!)
In case you haven't already heard of VEDA, it is something that some YouTubers take part in and stands for "Vlog Every Day in August" (though it can also be done in April!). This month, as it is the summer holidays, and I feel like I need to do something productive so that I don't spend my time boredom-eating and sleeping (this would not be unusual for me, to be honest).
This month I have decided to do VEDA. I know for a fact already that I won't be able to upload every single day, because later this month I will be travelling to France in order to attend a family member's wedding, which is something I am very excited for! However, this means that I won't be able to fully dedicate to VEDA, which is fine, because I never really expected to manage anyway!
Some of the inspirations I had for VEDA were doddleoddle and thisbedottie (two of my favourite channels!). Dodie often does VEDA, and also did VEDIM (Vlog Every Day in May) earlier this year. I have to admit that thisbedottie doesn't do this style of video, but a while ago she went through a stage of making poetry videos every single day, and I loved them! She is also one of the reasons why I started writing poetry (so I suppose you could also say that she was to blame, haha).
It's going to be a challenge to upload daily (or as close to daily as I can get), but in way, that is one of the reasons why I like it. This is like my little holiday project :)
Thank you so much to Eve (Pen&Key) for nominating me for this! If you haven't seen her blog before, check it out - she's awesome!
I'm not great with tags and awards, but I'll try my best to follow the rules :)
Rules:
Display the award on your blog
Announce your win with a post and acknowledge the person who nominated you
Present the award to 15 deserving bloggers
Post seven interesting facts about yourself
Seven (kind of) interesting facts about me:
1) Two days ago my best friend Ellie came round for a sleepover and we tried to dye our hair... it didn't go very well for either of us! My hair was supposed to turn mint green, but my hair is so many different shades of blonde that it didn't work. It looks almost exactly the same, only there are a few sewage-tones mixed in, weirdly enough. Ellie also tried to bleach her hair, but we ran out of bleach before we managed to get to the back layers of her hair. She then tried to dye it pale blue, but because of the bleach (as well as the fact that it had previously been dyed red), it is now many different shades of blue. Both of our dye will last for 2-10 washes (apart from Ellie's bleach, which is permanent).
2) Last night I watched a film called "Nowhere Boy" about John Lennon and the formation of The Beatles. I'm not a massive fan of the band of anything (I've not got anything against them either!) - I mainly watched it because Thomas Brodie-Sangster is Paul McCartney... #sorrynotsorry
Either way, it was really good and included many amazing actors - I would definitely recommend it, even if you are not particularly interested in the musical aspect, because it's really gripping!
3) As I am writing this, I was supposed to be filming a YouTube video, but both my brother and sister invited their friends round and are currently unleashing blood-curdling screams on our trampoline. It is very very annoying, and I am contemplating whether, due to the fact that they are already screaming and howling, anyone would notice if I murdered them... tempting...
4) Today I was supposed to host a Q&A on my channel, but due to the fact that I want to make another video that I planned quite a while ago and I didn't really get many contributions to the video *cue sad music*, I ditched that idea (I might film it next week instead, I'm not sure).
5) I really wish I had professional YouTube lighting due to the fact that all of my videos heavily depend on daylight and sitting by my window.
6) Next month I will be going to France for a few days to attend the wedding of a relative I haven't met since I was a toddler. This also means that I need to go dress and shoe shopping, considering I don't own many formal clothes.
7) I am trying to make many YouTube videos during the holidays, as Year 11 is officially exam year, and I know that I will be lacking free time! I don't think I'll struggle too much with blogging, because I don't have to worry too much about editing, whereas making videos can take aaaages!
Due to the fact that me and Eve pretty much follow the exact same people, I don't have anyone to nominate for this award, but if you're reading this, feel free to post your own seven facts! I know that's the lazy option, and isn't really how awards are supposed to work, but I really don't know who to nominate!
