New Year's Resolutions: Rewind

This isn't going to be a blog post where I set myself New Year's Resolutions, but instead I would like to look back at the resolution I set myself last year. I feel like, although we are hopeful in January that we will manage to transform our lives for the better throughout the course of the year ahead, we never really stop at any point to see whether we have actually seen our goals through. 

To see this year's resolutions, you can watch my YouTube video here:

Now is the time to put my resolution skills to the test. About this time last year, I wrote a blog post setting myself one goal for 2015: to ease myself into situations that I may not feel completely comfortable in. 

Honestly, I feel like I have a long way to go with this one, though I am proud of the progress I have made. One of the main focuses for this one is the fact that I would be attending quite a few concerts in 2015. This time last year, the idea of going to concerts was incredibly daunting. Although I love music as well as music artists (in 2015, I saw Taylor Swift and 5SOS), concerts have not been my kind of scene. They include many people and enclosed spaces - a nerve-wracking combination. 

I did struggle with concerts during 2015, a bit. Towards the end of the year, I attended one concert that was a little too crowded and suffocating, and I ended up being harassed by a drunk man twice my age (it was as fun as it sounds). In the end, I had to leave to narrowly avoid having a panic attack. Despite the humiliation and discomfort of the scary experience, I learned from it. In future, I will know that, if I feel at all uncomfortable or close to a panic attack in another situation like this, to leave instead of hanging round to see if it gets better, as I did at the time. I will know who to trust (and by that I mean a little more than questioning the company of 30ish-year-old men), and who will not be helpful in this scenario. There will be some people who will be conscious of my well-being and there will be some who are caught up in the moment and atmosphere. 

Also, note to self: bouncers are not authority figures, and they will not help if things start to go wrong (unless violence is involved, in which case, it is within their job description).

Although this experience was horrible at the time, I now know what and what not to do to ensure that the same thing does not occur again. The rest of my concert experiences in 2015 have been incredible - Taylor Swift put on an amazing show, as usual (she even brought Cara Delevigne!!!), and my friends and I were so hyped at the end of the 5SOS Birmingham concert that I wasn't sure I would ever get to sleep! I have been given a bit of an education on concerts, an although it was terrifying at times, I enjoyed it overall. Now I can look forward to my 2016 concerts (bring on the Sounds Good Feels Good tour!). 

Other than that, early-2015 me wanted me to speak my mind in 2015, and I can definitely say that I did that! I am now more accustomed to standing up for myself in situations where I feel that someone is wrong and/or offensive. I have developed more mature opinions and become a more open-minded person. Early-2015 me spoke about one incident in which I spoke my mind, and I have not stopped since. Inevitably, a lot of the time it still does make me anxious. I can leave discussions shaking and in need of fresh-air and some space, though I do not regret voicing my thoughts. I'd rather feel anxious about having said the thing than hating myself for not saying it later on.

I hope you achieved your 2015 resolutions and wish you the best of luck for your 2016 ones!

Best wishes,

Lucy x

Latest videos:

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New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year!!

Pinch, punch, first day of the month! 
(does anyone else do that?)

Woah, where the hell did 2015 come from? I certainly did not see it coming! I seriously cannot believe how close my 15th birthday is, it seems like I was 13 just yesterday. So much has changed in the past few years, it's crazy. This time last year I don't think I could have really anticipated my life being the way it is now. I am hardly different from my 13-year-old self, but at the same time I have changed somehow. 

Change seems to be a theme today, doesn't it? New Year's Day is always the perfect excuse for people to try to transform their lives (and then realising in March that they have completely failed to improve their lifestyle in any way!). Last year I remember my New Year's Resolution was to drink less Diet Coke (I was obviously aiming very high in my goals) and I managed that(not that it was at all difficult). 

This blog post, however, is not about giving up chocolate (as if!) or working out every day (like I have time for that kind of commitment), but about rethinking my decisions. Recently I have not been happy with my confidence, and how my social anxiety has been affecting my decisions. Earlier this year I was meaning to start a YouTube channel, but as soon as I turned on my camera, I froze and couldn't bring myself to say a word. It was horrible. 

So one of my goals for 2015 is to ease myself into situations I may not be completely comfortable with. That does not mean throwing myself into every opportunity that comes my way, I do need to know when to say when. I have also been kind of short of time recently, so even if I was that crazy, it would leave me with no time for schoolwork or anything. 

One thing that I would like to be able to do without freaking out is going to concerts. I am going to two different concerts this year, and I know for a fact that one of them is really crowded without any seats, and just loads and loads of people standing up. I'm not going to specify what concert or where the concert will be held due to privacy reasons, but when I imagine it in my head, I can just see myself stuck in the middle of this crowd, being pushed and shoved in a massive mob.
However, the concert is for an artist who I deeply adore, and even though the idea of being in this crowd scares me an unfathomable amount, I am extremely excited for going to the concert with one of my best friends! Before I thought the whole thing over, I really didn't think I would be comfortable and wasn't sure I wanted to put myself into a position that made me feel that vulnerable, but now I am sure that I will not regret this concert once I am there, and I will make the most of the day :)

One thing that has convinced me to have this as my New Year's Resolution is that recently there was an incident at my school (without naming any names) where someone was treated disrespectfully due to their panic disorder, and for once in my life, I stood up for that person (that person wasn't me, in case you were worrying, it was a friend of mine!).
I told the disrespectful person exactly what he/she needed to hear without losing the high ground/going into full-scale bitching (because bitching really isn't my style!), and although the whole experience took me out of my comfort zone and made me feel really exposed for actually opening my mouth to speak my mind for once in my life, it felt seriously amazing! It gave me a feeling of strength that I feel like I might have lost quite a while ago, and I am so glad I did it. I did feel panicky afterwards and had to have a sit down for a minute, but I think I did a great thing and my friend said I was really scary (I think that was a good thing!). 
Although I am hardly looking for any conflict or aggressive confrontation, I would definitely say what I said again, and I will definitely make sure to speak my mind in the future :)

I suppose this post is the return of my meaningful advice posts, so if you have the same kind of problem as I do, I recommend you to have a New Year's Resolution that is similar to mine - remember to try new things. You may find public situations and confrontations terrifying, but sometimes it is good to go out of your comfort zone. 
I hope you find this goal empowering, and if you are like me and choose this resolution, I hope it makes a positive impact on your life :)

What is your New Year's Resolution? Is it something like this, or are you just hoping to work off all the chocolate you ate over the holidays (I should really do that too, haha). 

Best wishes for the new year,
Lucy x

If you are not feeling empowered enough, here is "Something Big" by Shawn Mendes (it is one of my favourite songs right now!) :)

Things to think about in the new school year

After the challenging time for me that I call Year 9, I thought I'd just share with you what I have learnt through my experiences. This should give you something to think about when you are caught up in something that is too big for you to handle. 

• How to deal with nasty rumours

The solution to this problem is simple: just don't listen. Is a rumour being passed around your friendship group that is none of your business? If not, don't even bother thinking about it. 

The same goes for if the rumour happens to be about you. 

If the rumour is false, don't even get involved. 

If the rumour is true, then it shouldn't really be anyone's business but yours. If people around you continue to bring it up and it is getting you down, then just remind yourself that no one is perfect, and you are no exception. Other people should not be able to affect the way you see yourself, so don't give them that power. As long as you are happy with yourself, nothing else should matter. The people spreading these rumours obviously have nothing better to do with their lives, which is pretty sad. But that doesn't mean you have to sink to their level.

In the words of Mean Girls's Aaron Samuels:

"Stupid girls make up rumours because they're bored of their own lives"

• Friendship problems or school work?

Always pick school work. I assure you that no friendship problem is going to get worse just because you choose to work on that history project or whatever it is that you're supposed to be doing. This is especially relevant if you are approaching an exam or test. During the next year, I will be preparing for GCSEs (big British exams), and I am definitely not going to get distracted by who said what about who. (I will probably get distracted by some book or whatever instead as I am an easily distracted person but you get my point) :P

• Taking care of yourself

You can study all you want, but nothing comes before your mental health. Your mind will always be occupied by other things if you have an unresolved issue in your life. Don't get caught up in too many things at a time, especially if these things include other people's problems. It is fine to help out a friend in need, but if you end up struggling to keep on top of things, your friend obviously needs to seek help elsewhere, preferably some professional help if it is needed.

Remember to take a step back from everything once in a while to have a breather. 

• Sometimes you need to help other people help you

No one is a mind reader. If you are in a sticky situation and need someone to talk to, talk to someone! Your problems are not going to be resolved if you simply ignore them. Sometimes when you are panicky about something that is going on in your life it is hard to open up about things, but I promise you that things will get easy once you start talking.

• When friends stop being friends

Sometimes people do the things that we never thought they would do. It hurts (trust me, I know). But you will get through it.

It happens to the best of us, you are not alone in this. At first, it will hurt like being stabbed in the chest, but that fades. The thing to remember is that you still have all these wonderful friends around you to look out for and support you. 

That's it for today's blog post. I hope you found this useful :) Comment what you think of this style of blog post. 

Best wishes,

Lucy x

(P.S: On a separate note, If I Stay came out in UK cinemas today and I saw it with my friend, it is so beautiful. I cried more at the movie than I did the book, which I wrote a review for a while ago. If you would like to read the book review, click here. The scene I cried at the most was probably the scene where Gramps is talking to Mia and he just seems to understand Mia's situation all too well. Sooo yeah, check that out, it's great!)

Body Image

Right now, if you asked me what I thought of my appearance, I would honestly tell you that I don't know. 
It's not like I don't pay attention to the way I look, it's just that my opinion on the matter seems to change quite often. Some days I will look in the mirror and quite like what I see. 
I like the way I've styled my hair today, I'll think, or maybe I will comment on my eye make-up or something - you get the idea. 
Despite this, on other days when I look back at my own reflection, I will not see the girl I usually see staring back at me. I'm never quite sure why, but I'll just see this person who immediately makes me want to look away, as if I could hide from her. The same girl I complimented a few days ago is staring back at me, but she has changed somehow. This is weird for me, as although I am quite a shy person overall, I am usually the most confident person in my friend group when it comes to the way I look. I'm not self-obsessed or anything, I just tend to have some really self-conscious friends. 

Anyway, back to the question I mentioned at the beginning. 
If you asked me that same question around this time last year, I would have given you the same answer... except for one thing. 
I would have been lying. 
This time last year, I absolutely HATED the way I looked. The same probably would have gone for the year before that too. I would look in the mirror and feel like I was stuck in a stranger's body most of the time. It sounds cheesy and ridiculous, but I was desperate to one day look in the mirror and see what I felt like inside.

It wasn't just one particular thing about myself; it was more of a large mixture of things. Within that mixture were some aspects of my appearance that I'm still not fond of now, such as my eyebrows, general body shape and face shape, as well as some little things that I shouldn't have even bothered worrying about, such as my bad skin. I know now that this was quite silly, because most teenagers have problems with spots and stuff like that. I had seen many teenagers with skin worse than mine at the time, so I possibly could have even considered myself lucky in comparison (not that it mattered, it shouldn't have been a big deal either way). My skin isn't as bad now, but that's mainly due to the fact that I have found the right products to use on my skin. 

What I'm basically saying is that I was all over the place. I won't go into the details of what I used to tell myself, because that would just be depressing, and no one wants to hear that. I wouldn't tell myself these things constantly, but it only took one bad picture of myself and my self-confidence would come tumbling down around me. 

The oddest part of it all was that it was just me telling myself these horrible things. A lot of my friends who also had (as most of them still have) problems with body image told me how pretty and lucky I was on a regular basis, which I found perplexing.
For some reason, having long blond hair, a (vaguely) curvy body and blue eyes is considered desirable for a woman/girl in this day and age. 
However, I see this as no different from having short brown hair, mid-length red hair, long black hair, a petite/bigger build, a taller/shorter build, brown eyes or green eyes. So whether you have these features or features completely different to these ones I just mentioned, there is no need to worry about the way you look. You may not particularly like your appearance, but you will definitely come across people in life who will like it a lot. Everyone has their own idea of what attractive means - just because you aren't one person's doesn't mean you won't be the next's. 

To be honest though, either way, who cares? People aren't going to stop loving you as a person just because you have blue eyes, a small waist, red hair etc! 
And if you're sure that someone doesn't like you for the way you look, screw them! 

Are you going to cry yourself to sleep every night just because some mean person insulted your appearance? Because whoever that is certainly won't. Don't give power and influence over your life to the people you know don't deserve it.

To conclude:

If you are having similar problems to this, do keep all this in mind. And if you are a generally self-confident person who is reading this - good for you! Just don't let anyone tell you you're big headed for liking your appearance. 

If this helped you at all or you just found this interesting, remember to follow me on blogger and bloglovin. Also, share this with anyone who you think might find this useful - I know quite a few people who could do with getting the message. 

Or, if you are looking for someone else to explain this (possibly someone who can word it better), look at these:

Zoe(Zoella) and Louise(SprinkleOfGlitter)'s Chummy Chatter - Why Are You So Skinny?

Here is a blog post by Zoe related to the same topic: http://www.zoella.co.uk/2011/03/why-are-you-so-skinny.html

Emma Blackery - How You Look and Why It Doesn't Matter

Best wishes, 

Lucy x

Our generation of teenagers

In this blog entry, instead of focusing on a specific topic, I would like to touch on what it is generally like to be a teenager at the moment (as I am very experienced in this area). Of course, there are many teenagers going out to mad parties right now while I'm sat typing up a blog entry alone in my room, so this obviously does not apply to all teenagers. 

Recently though, it has come to my attention that our generation of teenagers happen to be facing a lot of difficult situations that people our age aren't really equipped to face, especially as we have so many other things going on in our lives. 

Having said this, I am aware that being a teenager does, and always will, suck. There are just some things about going into your teenaged years that will never be particularly fun. 

Some examples of this are:

• Spots
• Exams
• Other teenagers >.< *cue dramatic music*
• The pain of having braces
• Everyone having expectations of you that are too high.
• Peer pressure
• Responsibilities 

Some of these problems will sort themselves out with age, though there are a few that will follow us into adulthood. 

Nevertheless, these things are not the reasons that have been concerning me. The thing that has really been getting to me is how many serious issues our generation are facing, namely ones to do with mental health. I believe the reason us teenagers are so ill-equipped to deal with these issues is mainly because although we are no longer children, we are definitely not knowledgeable or experienced enough to be considered adults. Sometimes we forget this, meaning that we treat ourselves as if we are stronger and more equipped to deal with some situations than we may be in reality. After all, how do you expect a 13 year old to fully understand their mental health problem? 

Ans: they are unable to do so.

I mean, when you think about it, sure: you are better off in this situation now than you would have been five or so years ago, but you are still growing up. You will learn new things throughout your entire life, but at your age, when you should be focusing on learning other things, do not not put too much pressure on yourself. If you have a real problem, whether that is self-harming, depression, bipolar disorder, plain bullying, cyber bullying, an eating disorder or otherwise, do let someone know. It isn't fair for you to concern you with these stupid things when you have so much else you can be doing. By stressing yourself out, all you will do is drive your friends away and fall behind with school work, possibly affecting your career and future. 

By getting help for whatever is getting to you, you can learn to be kind to yourself. Always make sure that you are your no.1 priority and that you are properly taking care of yourself. You can do so by taking a step back and reflecting on a situation before you get hung up with things that you can't handle, whether you are 12 or 16 years old. 

That thing that's been keeping you awake at night? Tell someone about it. This could be a parent, a best friend or a teacher. Trust me, things will get a lot easier once you have done this.

Also, I just want to remind people that if you have suffered from the any of the issues I have mentioned; you are not alone. It's okay to feel weak sometimes - everyone has both good days and bad days, and just because you may be having a bad day doesn't mean you are a failure of a human being. Frankly, I think that is just ridiculous. 

One thing that I feel affects how teenagers see themselves is social media. They see people around them on FaceBook and Instagram seemingly having a more fun time than them, making whoever sees this feel insecure about their own lives. This makes the teenager feel as if their life is insignificant in comparison to other people's. However, the thing to remember is that people only put small snapshots of their life on the internet. They may look happy in one picture, but in reality, their life could be crumbling down around them (e.g. they could be going through a really tough time at home). Of course, if they were to post a status on FaceBook telling people about this, they would begin to feel insecure and vulnerable, so they don't.
Your life is just as significant and precious as other people's. 

In addition, there are also some aspects of being a teenager that don't suck that could easily be focused on instead of everything else, such as:

• The freedom you get as you become older due to more adults trusting you (although it is a long wait)
• You begin to learn more about yourself as a person
• It's kind of funny to see yours and other people's transformation between a child and a young adult (or is that just me?) 
• You are allowed to pick specific subjects you do and don't want to take in school, making it easier to focus on the things you think will be useful to you in the future. 

To conclude, just remember not to let certain problems consume you and your teenage years will become a whole lot more bearable.

If this blog entry has helped you in any way, remember to follow me and share this blog post! If you have any suggestions for what I could write about in the future, do leave them in the comments below. 

Speak to you soon, 

Lucy x

Dealing with friends and depression

This blog entry was requested by someone who commented on my last one. I will do my best to offer my advice :)

One of the problems I have been forced to deal with recently is certain friends going through depression. It is incredibly hard to convince someone that there is more to life than what they may see (which I tend to imagine as a black and white filter). I definitely would not advise anyone who is in the same situation to take it upon themselves to help their friends. There is only so much you can do for one person, and if you try to go over the top with the amount of help you offer, you will only tire yourself out and may not offer anything particularly helpful.

Of course, you can always offer support, a shoulder to cry and your own advice etc. But take it from someone who has been stuck in this situation: letting other people's issues get to you will only leave you with problems of your own. 

You should be your own priority - focus on your life before you get tangled up in other people's. For a while, as I was attempting to deal with this problem, I was not the best version of myself. I was exhausted from sitting up at night trying to figure my way out of someone else's mess, I couldn't concentrate in school and I was incredibly irritable. I only started getting out of this stage when I began to talk to people about my friend's issue and how I felt about it. At first it felt wrong, but I'm glad I did it. Of course, telling someone does not always mean talking to the staff at school. Instead, it could be a parent or close friend. Just get it off your chest. 

Despite this, if your friend's depression takes a turn for the worse and you are seriously worried for their mental health, I would definitely advise telling someone who could help. After all, a best friend is not a substitute for a trained professional councillor. You could tell a teacher or your friend's parents if you are seriously concerned (also, some schools can offer therapy or a psychiatrist for this kind of thing). Neither you or your friend deserve to suffer in silence. 

I really hope this helps! Lovely person who commented on my blog, I wish you and your friends the best :D

If this helped, please do remember to follow me, share the blog or make sure you are emailed whenever I post a blog entry. I am planning to write stuff on my summer holidays when school ends, which should hopefully be more jolly that this entry is (although I am glad to offer my assistance). 

If you have an issue you want me to talk about in a future blog entry, please let me know in the comments and I will try my best to offer my advise :)

Best wishes again,

Lucy x