MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Right now it is 11:11, and it is Christmas morning! 
Merry Christmas everyone!

I don't have time to write a proper blog post right now as I am about to leave to visit my grandparents, but I would just like to tell whoever reads this little blog of mine that - regardless of whether you celebrate Christmas or not - I really wish that you have a magnificent day, because you deserve it (not just because you read my blog, but because you are generally awesome as well!) :D

I don't know what my life will be like this time next year - I hope I am managing to take care of my blog at least! Here are pictures of Christmas 2013 vs now:

Wow, I look so young in the first one!! 

(I am also wearing no make-up in the first one, haha)

Maybe soon I will make a blog post on some of the Christmas presents I got. This morning I woke up at around 8:30 (which is early for me, by the way) and I am really happy with some of the awesome books I got :3

Best (Christmas) wishes, 
Lucy xx :)

Building up to Christmas!!!!!

As you may be able tell by the amount of exclamation marks included in the title of this blog post, I am quite hyped for Christmas around now - the title actually resembles a writing assessment I did in Year 6 in which I was told off for adding about 10 exclamation marks in one sentence (oops). 

Anyway, back on topic...
CHRISTMAS IS NEARLY HERE! We broke up from school two days ago and I am really feeling the freedom. For once, I might actually have a week without any assessments in.
I have been working on an English assessment for quite a while and finally I have finished - it was hard work, but I think it will be worth it (or I hope it will at least!). I think in the end I wrote about 12 pages, and I have quite small handwriting. It's not the most anyone in the class had written, but I know I put quite a lot of thought into mine. Comparing poems isn't exactly my forte (I prefer story writing), so I doubt I will get anywhere near the score I got on the short story I wrote last term, but I can always hope. 

Today has been a particularly festive day for me, as I have decided to put up my mini Christmas tree that lives in my room every December-February (I am never bothered to take it down, it may as well be a permanent feature). I think I should just keep the tree up all year round and style it differently every season - for instance, I could have Easter chicks on it in spring and cauldrons and sweets on it in Halloween... it would be a lot easier than taking off all the baubles and packing it back into the box at the end of December, anyway.
Here is a picture of my marvelous creation:

I rather stupidly didn't realise before I finished the tree that it looks like Michael Clifford is trying to eat the baubles... I regret nothing.

I don't actually have a fairy or star to hang on top of the tree, so this year I am using a cute wooden key-ring I got from Evolution :)

I'm trying to think up of a name for her, but I haven't got one just yet.

I always seem to run out of places to hang baubles because I have so many, so this time I decided to take advantage of the extras...

I think this is a massive improvement on my 5SOS poster.

Judging by their faces, I am guessing that this is probably the most beautiful Michael and Luke have ever felt!

I didn't expect this blog post to have two 5SOS appearances, but there you go!

Today was a relaxing day, which was great, as I feel like I haven't had one of those in ages. After school on Friday, I went out with some friends for a meal and got back at 9:15, as we ended up surrounded by tipsy teenagers who were about to go clubbing. Security actually asked for an I.D, as apparently we were not allowed to enter a certain part of the building to find the toilets (what). 

Y'know, maybe I have been wrong all along - maybe I shouldn't be allowed to pee until I'm 18(!!).

So yeah, that was weird. At least I'll know next time not to hang around the building for too long!

(Calling the people we saw on Friday "tipsy teenagers" now feels incredibly odd considering I am a teenager, and I cannot imagine myself in that state! Oh well, I suppose I'll get used to that)

Yesterday was also a busy day, as I went to my grandparents' house for a mini-Christmas dinner before the real one - today I just really needed a lie-in! I am one of those people who stays up late and then sleeps until lunch, annoyingly enough. I really wish I was a morning person!!

What are you most looking forward to in the holidays? I just need sleep and time for me to write - those are my priorities :)

Best wishes, 

Lucy x

Christmas jumpers and The Maze Runner

Hey guys :)

So Christmas is in 2 weeks (WHAT??!) and I'm trying to get into the festive mood (although I am not sure it is socially acceptable for me to hand out Christmas cards yet!!). 
Unfortunately, anyone who knows me will understand how bad I am with Christmas presents - I hardly ever know what to get my family, and I usually just get my friends chocolate. This year is no different, despite the fact that one of my friends told me not to buy her chocolate this year, due to the fact that I bombarded her with Hersheys on her birthday (she loved it really). I'm also quite bad at shopping, as I get sidetracked incredibly easily (this doesn't just go for shopping, but for just about any situation in which I can lose focus!).

However, one achievement I have made recently is that I have bought my VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS JUMPER

*gasp*

Seriously. I have gone 14 years (nearly 15) without ever getting a Christmas jumper, even though I absolutely love both festivity and jumpers... One of the main reasons the idea really came to mind this year is because on Friday, our school have a Christmas jumper day to raise money for charity and I kind of wanted to dress for the occasion. 

Another thing that I've been thinking about recently is The Maze Runner series, which is a really cool apocalyptic style book, which (inevitably) has The Hunger Games mentioned on the cover, because all adventure fiction/apocalyptic style books have that on the cover these days. I can't really complain though - I always end up falling in love with the books anyway!

I saw the film adaptation a while back in the cinema (twice) and I remember it being awesome, though I have to say, the book is so much better! It's not that the movie is bad or anything (it also had Thomas Sangster in it, which is always a good thing!), I just feel like the ending is rushed and so much is left unexplained about the entire plot - the book really answered some questions for me. 

My favourite characters so far are probably Teresa, Thomas and Newt - Teresa for her guts and wits, Thomas for his bravery and impulsiveness, Newt for the sass. Newt always seems to have the answer to every stupid question asked by the other characters, is gloriously sarcastic and often seems to be the only one who's able to think straight. 

I also think that Teresa gets a chance to develop as a character throughout the first book in a way that she doesn't in the film, which is sad, but I suppose the movie did have to be cut to a certain length.

I completely love James Dashner's style of writing - the language is sophisticated, yet casual enough for the teenagers to seem believable.

I am currently starting The Scorch Trials; book 2 in the series, so I'll let you know how I get on with that. 

Also, braces update: I think I might be getting mine off soon(ish). I am not sure how far away "soon" is, because no one ever seems to be able to guarantee anything when it comes to my braces, but I hope to have them off before my birthday (I don't know, I just think that would be cool). I am kinda tired of not being able to smile in photos now! :/

What do you guys usually go for when it comes to Christmas presents? Is there any alternative to chocolate? (is there ever?!)

Speak to you soon, 

Lucy x

Winter Changes

*dusts cobwebs off blog*

Hey guys! 

It's been a while, but I finally have to time to write a blog post. The thing I am post scared of recently is that I will unintentionally give up blogging for a really long time, and I really don't want that to happen.
I am really looking forward to the Christmas holidays, hopefully I will have more time then!

...seriously though, what is it with Christmas recently? It is slowly creeping up on me and I am seriously unprepared! This seems to happen every year, rather annoyingly. 

Another thing that seems to creeping up on me is my 15th birthday - I am not even really sure I want to turn 15 right now, the number seems really daunting to me! Sometimes (and by "sometimes" I mean "most of the time") I still feel like a 10 year old... a freakishly tall 10 year old!

Nevertheless, now we have hit the month of December (once again, why is this all creeping up on me?!) loads of my friends are turning 15. Another thing that creeps me out about being 15 is Taylor Swift's song "15", in which she discovers relationships and betrayal and heartbreak and ALL THAT STUFF. 

Like, seriously, why couldn't the song have been called 16? 
Can't it wait?! 

I can't pretend that I don't have friends who haven't been through relationships and all that stuff... the concept just seems really new to me (even if it shouldn't really!).
Oh well, at least I will be able to (now legally) watch 15 rated movies in the cinema and all that stuff :D

Enough moaning - despite the fact that it is making my skin go CRAZY, I am really looking forward to winter this year. It always gives me the brilliant excuse to bundle up in tons of layers and wear awesomely fluffy jumpers :)

(sidenote: I really DON'T UNDERSTAND people who are walking around this time of year in t-shirts!! What is wrong with them?! They have the perfect excuse to wear jumpers and they don't even take it...) 

Also... ADVENT CALENDARS! They are definitely one of the best parts of the build-up to Christmas -  although you can't really beat decorating the Christmas tree, right? I have a slight obsession with tinsel and sparkly decorations.
I know people who put up their Christmas trees on the 1st of December, but I think that kind of feels like cheating - what happens when Christmas is just around the corner and you have nothing festive to do...?

The same goes for Christmas adverts - why are they on already?
Though the one advert that I do make a special advert to tolerate every year though is the John Lewis advert - they may be really long and, yes, really soppy, but they are also kind of cute. I especially loved Lilly Allen's song in the advert last year! 
One thing that does make me laugh is how people claim to have burst into tears the first time they watched the advert this year - it makes me wonder whether or not that is what the John Lewis staff intended whilst brainstorming for the plot. 
Like, the advert is definitely heart-warming, but it is hardly an emotional roller-coaster, haha!

One thing that has really made me feel all winter-y recently is that on Saturday I went ice-skating with my friends, something I equally love and loathe each year!

Love; because slipping around on the ice is so surreal and I just get to laugh at myself (though I don't need to go ice-skating to do that!).
Loathe; because I simply can't do it and I am kind of worried that the fancy, annoyingly professional skaters will take a break from their graceful leaps and twirls to laugh at me!

This year I went with my roller-blading, athletic friend (who totally didn't make me look terrible at all) and my slightly clumsy friend who had never been ice-skating before... the experience was intriguing to say the least. 
Probably the best part of it all was when my inexperienced friend almost fell over, then grabbed a (vaguely attractive) adolescent-male-stranger's hand to steady herself... *cringe*
Also (as if the whole scenario wasn't bad enough), he then turned to her a gave her a teasing look before skating away... *DOUBLE CRINGE*
We certainly won't be letting her forget about that any time soon!

What is your favourite part of winter? Mine are definitely the tree, the chocolate and the jumpers! 

(yes, I know that's three parts, but I can't pick one, in case you haven't already noticed!)

Speak to you soon (hopefully),

Lucy x

A little update :)

Over the past month I have been trying to focus on my exams - primarily my case study - so I apologise for how rare my posts have become. I haven't really been coping well with the pressure of all the work and I haven't been getting much sleep either, so I have not really been in a good enough state to spend my spare time writing. This, however, is the first lazy day I have had in a long time, and it feels good :)

One thing I wanted to mention quickly in this blog post is how I went to see Mockingjay on Friday, and I'm not really sure how to put the experience into words, but I will try... 
First of all, JENNIFER LAWRENCE'S SINGING?!
Soooo cool!! You always hear her talking about how rubbish her singing is in interviews, but it's really not. I had heard already about how good her singing was from people on twitter who had gone to the premier or midnight screening, yet I was far from disappointed. Jennifer may not approve of her singing, but I would definitely buy her album!!
My only criticism of the movie was that there was a lack of Peeta Mellark, though I suppose that was the point... Still, it made me quite sad. Peeta is always my favourite part of the books and movies. 
However limited Peeta's appearances were, Josh Hutcherson still managed to move the audience with each one - especially the end... OH GOD NO LET'S NOT GO INTO THIS.
By the end of the movie, my winged eyeliner was ruined (why on Earth did I think winged eyeliner would be a good idea??!) and I was kind of a mess!

The only thing I would change about my experience (not including the eyeliner incident) would be to switch our seats due to the people in front of us in the cinema.
They were SO ANNOYING. They kept speaking over all the characters and throwing popcorn at each other and giggling at all the wrong times.... and let's not even start on their commentary as Peeta's wrecked face was revealed near the end of the movie. Nopenopenopenope.

Moving on...
Yesterday I went into town with three of my friends, and what was meant to be a Christmas shop turned into just buying tons of random stuff (e.g. a mega pack of mentos???). One thing I am particularly happy about is the fact that I finally managed to find some purple lipstick. The thing with me and purple lipstick is that I am obsessed with it, but it's not the kind of thing I would wear in public very often. I have just wanted it for ages because I thought it would be very fun, especially since I stole my friend's purple liptick on Halloween!
Anyway, I finally managed to get hold of Collection Gothic Glam Scorned 2, which, for the record, makes me feel very much like Lorde (which I suppose is always a good thing!). I have attached a link to the Superdrug website because I don't really have time to take a picture. It is definitely not the kind of thing I would wear to school, as we are only allowed natural looking makeup and I am not entirely sure that would stop the kids at school calling me a goth, haha :P
Other purchases I made include Maybelline Superstay Better Skin Foundation and Rimmel Clear Complexion Powder Transparent.
It was really fun to have a day out with my friends, as I haven't had one of those in a while with exams and all. It was also especially funny when the bus driver suggested that since we are under 16, we get a family day rider (?), I'm not sure I will ever understand how these things work... 

I am still doing exams now, so I am not sure when my next blog post will be (hopefully soon). For now though, I am writing an essay type thing on The Merchant of Venice and planning a Media Studies assessment. Wish me luck :)
Speak to you soon(ish), 
Lucy x

I, like, never take selfies (I don't really find them that entertaining), but just for you guys... 

(looking back on this post, I realise how vain that sounds. In case it wasn't that obvious, I was kidding when I was saying that... sorry!)

Harry Potter World

Hey guys :)
I am having a lazy day today, so there isn't much to write about other than my OBSESSION with hot chocolate that has been taking over my life recently (SO UNHEALTHY). However, I thought I would bring to you some pictures I took at Harry Potter World in London during a training day (basically a day off school for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term) we had at my school a few months ago. I will not upload all the pictures, as a lot of them include my friends, and I don't know how they would react to me putting their faces out on the internet, and also because there are JUST SO MANY. 
For these two reasons, I will just show you the pictures from the room with the massive Hogwarts model. 
Here they are:

From the moment we entered the room, I fell in love with this tiny paper model of Hogwarts - it is just SO CUTE!! The picture at the top is my favourite :)

(I would show you a picture of my friend's face next to the model just to show you how small the model is in comparison, but my friend just happens to be pulling a face like a turtle, so I won't do that, haha)

These are all the pictures I can really show you. I chose this room because I have been to Harry Potter World twice now - once recently and once when I was twelve - and this room has been my favourite both times. I am always amazed by how much detail has been put into that model!! It's completely insane. 

Before leaving, I bought a Hufflepuff house badge from the gift shop - I definitely would have bought more if I could as the gift shop is wonderful, although it is also very expensive - which is still hanging around in my bag somewhere. 

Speaking of my badge, I think I am going to search for that now :)

Speak to you later,

Lucy x

Happy (late) Halloween!!

Happy Halloween (sort of!). I didn't write a Halloween blog post yesterday, so I thought I would write a (mini) one now. The pictures at the top are of me last night after I had spent AGES messing around with my makeup at my friend's house before we left to go to a Halloween party. 

I am wearing a glee-style cheerleader outfit and I filled under my eyes and up to my brows with brown eye-shadow. My lids were covered in purple also and I rimmed my eyes with red eye-shadow as well as black eyeliner. I am also wearing really dark purple lipstick.

I absolutely loved the party. My friend and I turned up as vampire cheerleaders and one of my other friends did this cool vampire-bite effect on my neck.

It was cool seeing loads of people from school, and although the holidays have only lasted a week, it feels like they have been much longer. It was also very interesting to see other people's creative costumes as quite a few of my friends are really into art and are really imaginative, making me really envious of their spooky makeup.

The only downside to the evening was that it took AGES to wash off all the pale foundation and the dark eye-shadow afterwards. I also used gray eye-shadow to colour in my cheekbones, and I did not realise how much I had put on until I was forced to scrub it off afterwards!!

Either way, the memory of the party last night is definitely one that is going to stick in my mind when I think back to Year 10 - along with twirling about in a cheerleader skirt, dancing terribly and eating way too much chocolate! 

I hope everyone had an awesome day :)

Speak to you soon, 

Lucy x

One Lovely Blog Award

(note: to see my Liebster Award from last month, click here :3)

Maya from ohemgeeitsmaya nominated me for One Lovely Award (whoop whoop!), so yeah, here I am. Thank you Maya! :)

Rules

1. Thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their      blog.

2. List the rules and display the award.

3. Add 7 facts about yourself.

4. Nominate 15 other bloggers. 

5. Follow on Blogger the person who nominated you. 

7 Facts About Me

• I am really bad at talking about myself because I just confuse myself sometimes and most of my life is composed of embarrassing moments that are too awful to share on the internet or with people I don't fully know.

• Most of the time, my best friends call me Luaj (along with plenty of other absurd names) based on an awkward moment in Year 7 in which my book fell on the floor, my teacher picked it up and read my name out terribly wrong in front of the entire class. *cringe* Thanks to my wonderful friends, I have not been able to get over that moment since!

• My surname is really weird and you wouldn't be able to read it if I wrote it down for you. I am incredibly happy when people say it right, because most of the time people just call me "Macaroni" or just some other weird version of my name. 

• My favourite subjects in school are English and Drama, and one day I would like to become a writer or an actress (or, if possible, both!). 

• My goldfish is called Sheila, but I don't know whether he/she is a boy or a girl. I have tried googling "how to tell if your goldfish is a boy or a girl" many times, but I am still not sure. If Sheila was a boy I would still probably call him/her Sheila simply because I like the name, so I've stopped trying to investigate. 

• My favourite smell in the world would be vanilla or a perfume called Wonderstruck Enchanted by Taylor Swift - I have two bottles of it (that's not weird, right..?)!!

• I am half English and half Irish, although sometimes people tell me I sound really English - or, more often, they tell me I sound really posh (in the words of Dan Howell: I'm not posh, I'm articulate). Also I am really bad at doing an Irish accent unless I am saying the words "Irish", "leprechaun" or "three". 

This is the part where I struggle to think of people to tag. I definitely won't reach 15! If I have nominated you and you don't want to do it for whatever reason, that's fine. I just think it's a fun thing to do :)

Here it goes.... 

The nominees are (sorry if you have done this before!):

• LoveTaraBabii♡
• Brunette Wavez
• Cloudy Dreams
• hello, Cathy
• Kimchi Cakes

I would have more, but I always forget to follow blogs I like after I discover them so I cannot really think of any, and many of the blogs I do follow have already been recently tagged. I also kind of feel like I am bothering people if I tag them and do not know them very well, so there a few I was kind of shy to tag in this.

Sorry for the limited amount of blogs tagged, I am kind of 10 blogs short!! :/

So that gives you an insight to my life :) 

Those of you who have been tagged can leave the link to their blog post in the comments!

Speak to you soon,

Lucy x

BUSY life update (ft. plaits and shopping)

Happy holidays! :)

*hides so that no one will have a go at me for not posting in 8 DAYS*

Actually, to be honest, I don't really expect anyone to really take notice of how often I post blog entries - I just really hate it when I get into the habit of simply not posting. But, as you can tell from the title of this blog post, I have been very occupied for the past week, mostly by coursework that I have been catching up on and stuff. I really hate falling behind with work as it makes me feel really powerless and trapped in an awful cycle of having-too-much-to-do-and-not-enough-time-to-do-it. In the end, I decided to bring some work to do over the holidays, which is hardly ideal, but I really have no other option. I don't really mind though, as it is only Media Studies, a subject that I find very interesting, and not anything particularly tedious.

Apart from that, starting from Friday evening, I have just been enjoying the freedom of the holidays. Friday evening was spent in my Pikachu onesie, watching a kiddy movie with my brother and eating (probably a bit too many) Haribos. I then spent most of Saturday sleeping before staying the night at my friend's house, along with another one of of my friends who was also staying the night. There's not really much to talk about as we didn't really get up to much (apart from eating and just talking - we do a lot of talking!). One thing that I do want to share with you though is the AWESOME Elsa-from-Frozen type plait my friend did on me. Take a look for yourself:

The pictures aren't fantastic because a) they were taken a long time after my friend actually plaited my hair and b) I took them myself!

The only problem with people doing hairstyles like this on me is that I REALLY like them and then make the frustrating discovery that I cannot do them on myself.

Oh well, at least I managed to take a few pictures before it all falls apart! I already had to fix it once and I doubt I could do it again. 

Another thing that happened at my friend's house is that we played Rock Band on her XBox. The result of this was me failing disastrously to sing "That's What You Get" by Paramore, which was an awful idea because I was on microphone and although I definitely knew all of the words, I definitely cannot sing to pop punk music - I feel like writing a personal apology to Hayley Williams for ruining the band's song... My drumming certainly wasn't any better, though I will not even try to describe my flailing mess to you.

Having spent a week not posting, I have come to the conclusion that I would like to write more advice-style blog posts. I'm not sure exactly what to write yet, but I have a few ideas that I could try to put together for a blog post. 

Another thing I have also been meaning to post is the results of the shopping trip I went on last week with my friend and my sister. Sooo yeah, voilà:

My new jumper (H&M) which I think is awesome and actually makes me feel a lot like Tris Prior when she is wearing Tobias's jumper in Divergent (it is darker in real life than in the picture)

And, of course, Baby Lips... seriously, I think I am developing an addiction!! (ft. awkward desk lamp lighting)

The green Baby Lips may look really odd, but is doesn't actually show up as green and is actually clear and smells amazingly of mint. I think it is one of my favourites (obviously I cannot pick one favourite, there are just TOO MANY). 

This is what I have been reduced to, people. Seriously.

Tomorrow is my mum's birthday and, randomly enough, the release date for Taylor Swift's new album, 1989 (totally pre-ordered it).

I find it so odd that people have been going mad over the whole "IF YOU LEAK 1989 YOU ARE NOT A TRUE SWIFTIE" thing. Can't people just wait a few days for the album to be released?? I understand the temptation to listen to the album before anyone else (I SERIOUSLY DO), but really? I don't understand people sometimes.

So that is my life at the moment :) Hopefully I will bring a more structured blog entry to you soon (again, I really hope it is an advice post!).

Speak to you soon, 

Lucy x

Planning for Halloween and stuff

I haven't posted in a while, and that's because I have been SO BUSY. I have had next to no time to do anything these days, and the free time I have is spent with my friends - because as Charlie from the Perks Of Being a Wallflower would say "I have been trying to participate". Also, some stuff has been going on in school which has been stressing me out as it is probably the most anyone from school has talked about me EVER, and I kind of feel like I was dragged into the situation. Luckily, the holidays are coming soon, and by the time everyone goes back to school they will have (hopefully) forgotten all about it. 

I'm really looking forward to the holidays as I have not really had any free time in ages. I was off sick for two days last week, but there's not really anything you can do while you're off sick apart from watching movies and writing. For now though, I will have to settle for the weekend - which is not entirely a bad thing. 

I am going shopping today to get a few things that I will probably make a post about tomorrow, including some of the Zoella Beauty range, though I'm not sure what to buy yet. One of my friends bought some of her stuff and I remember it smelling really nice - it's going to be so hard to choose! I would also like to add to my Halloween outfit...

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you what I am being for Halloween! Halloween is my favourite holiday EVER and I always get really excited for it - I don't think I will ever grow out of it!
I am being... *drumroll*
A VAMPIRE CHEERLEADER!!
I thought I may as well use my cheerleader outfit from an American high-school themed drama performance I did last year, and I think it would be a really original costume to create. It was either going to be a vampire or a zombie, but one of my friends is already being a zombie, so I think I will stick to a vampire. I will definitely make sure to do a Halloween blog post soon :) 
Some things I still need to buy for my costume are dark red lipstick and maybe some pale make-up, as well as anything else that catches my eye that I think would look cool. 
I didn't bother with Halloween last year, which only makes me more excited for this year. The year before that I went to a Halloween party as a werewolf with a creepy mask, ripped jeans and fake blood, which was fun to create. 

What are you being for Halloween? Tell me in the comments :)

Speak to you soon, 
Lucy x

Putting YouTube on hold, #DontPanicButton and... um... stuff!

Today has kind of been an uneventful day, but I think I have enough to talk about (because I just generally have a lot to talk about anyway). 

I have decided to put YouTube on hold because (as I stated in my last blog entry) I am finding it really hard and it is stressing me out a bit. The feeling of sitting there in front of a camera seems really unnatural and daunting to me, like when I have to do public speaking or something. I have shot videos before, but I rarely feel like this. I am hoping that this feeling will fade sooner or later, hopefully when I feel I have enough time for such a time-consuming hobby in my life. 
Until then, I am going to carry on with blogging as I have really grown to love it over the past few months and it is something that I feel comes naturally to me :)

Another thing that has caught my attention over the last few days is Zoella (a blogger/YouTuber) and her #DontPanicButton campaign (part of her role as an ambassador of Mind, a mental health charity). The aim is that as many people as possible wear a red button on them in some form (e.g. a badge or bracelet) to show support for those who suffer from anxiety and/or panic attacks.

 

In case you have not been reading my blog recently, I have talked a bit about suffering from social anxiety, although I have not yet mentioned that I also suffer occasionally suffer from panic attacks too (it is something that I do not particularly want to describe in depth). I am planning to take part in the #DontPanicButton campaign, but I sadly cannot get hold of any red buttons at the moment (doh!). I'll make a post out of it when I can find some! :)
I have always admired Zoe's ease when it comes to talking about anxiety and panic attacks both on her blog and in her videos, as it takes bravery to discuss in depth your own mental health disorder - mainly because it is quite a personal (and therefore scary) thing to talk about and also because it is so taboo. This is partly due to the fact that others can be quite disrespectful towards those who are open about mental health disorders - some people even see it as attention seeking!!

Due to this, Zoe tweeted (about some comments on a few of her vlogs):
Doesn’t make me want to share it. Saying that my anxiety is an excuse to be lazy? Urgh. I’d had this for TEN YEARS! Over and out.

and

Comments like those are the exact reason i’m choosing to work with a mental health charity. Ignorance is very ugly.

I definitely think we need more people like Zoella to help people set the record straight when it comes to what these mental health disorders really are. Once society does begin to understand them in more depth, hopefully anxiety and panic attacks (as well as many other mental health disorders) will no longer be taboo. 

In other news, today I managed to hoover up a certain family member's underwear (by accident). I experience of having to admit this to my family member was quite surreal, and I was laughing quite hysterically (even if that family member wasn't)... This is why I should never be given the opportunity to live alone. Ever. I worry for my future-self sometimes!
After watching The Maze Runner with my friend yesterday, I have started reading the first book, and it is quite cool so far :) I may or may not update you on that when I am further on in the story.

Speak to you later,
Lucy x

The Maze Runner (and sucking at YouTube)

Today I went to see The Maze Runner with my friend (partly because it is recommended for Hunger Games fans and partly because it just generally looks awesome) and can I just say that it is amazing. 

I loved it so much! The cast was magnificent, and Dylan O'Brien was an excellent choice for Thomas! As soon as the film started and he came on screen panicking, I was super impressed. I turned to my friend and said "That is good acting!" - he was so believable! 
My friend also enjoyed Thomas Sangster's performance as Newt (we did, however, call him "Nanny McPhee kid" at the time, as we didn't remember his name)... 

The only thing I am disappointed about is the fact that I prefer to read the book before I watch the movie, which I could not do in The Maze Runner's case as I didn't have time. I am reading it now though, and I am enjoying it so far :) I would definitely recommend it for any action adventure fans who aren't scared of a bit of gore (yes, that does include Hunger Games fans!). 
I would just like to point out that yes, it does bare some resemblance to The Hunger Games and Divergent, though no two stories are exactly the same, so that does not mean that there are no unexpected twists and turns in the storyline or that there are no original, exciting or intriguing characters! 

Although I felt extremely sorry for all the characters in the story, I did feel particularly sympathetic for Teresa, due to the lack of leading females in the story. I think I would be quite intimidated in her position!

Another thing I have been trying to do today is filming my first YouTube video, but it is so difficult. I know exactly what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it, but then I turn the camera on and I just freeze on the spot and I literally cannot speak. 
When I communicate with people about how shy I am and how I am never like this while performing on stage, they always say "Just pretend you're acting as yourself".
...but I just CAN'T. No matter how hard I try, I feel terrified and stupid. I might try again tomorrow, but I'm not sure yet. 

So that is my weekend so far. I know it's not much, but there it is...

Speak to you later,
Lucy x

The Joy of Illness.... PART 2

Yeah... I'm still ill (dammit). I've been trying to do a few things for my blog and YouTube. I still need to figure out whether or not I'm gonna go ahead with the whole YouTube thing, but I can't really experiment with it yet because I sound (and feel) like I've swallowed a toad and I am just generally gross. 
I am, however, wearing make-up today, so I might take a picture for my channel and blog header later. 

I don't care whether I sound nerdy or not (I am quite nerdy anyway) - I really want to be in school today. Wednesday is my favourite day of the week, and I am missing quite a few subjects that I enjoy and will need to catch up on later. I also take pride in my attendance record, and I got 100% last year - it was literally the only thing that got me into the end-of-year award ceremonies... that was quite depressing! Oh well, at least if I get nominated for an award this year then I know I will have done something good other than stayed healthy.
Also, I really want to see my friends! It is highly likely that when I return to school I will have no idea what anyone is talking about.

Like yesterday, I will probably just spend my day being an internet hobo. This basically means that I will be sorting out my blog and my YouTube while having Zoella, Sprinkleofglitter, danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil marathons... 
My life is so exciting. 

What do you guys do to entertain yourselves when you are ill? I seriously need the help. Yesterday I tried going on our trampoline to cheer me up (and finally get some fresh air), which resulted in a SPLITTING HEADACHE. I need ideas!

Speak to you soon,
Lucy x

The Joy of Illness

The title will explain for you why it is that I am writing a blog post for you guys at 10:13am on a Tuesday - I am sick. 
I'm not really LITERALLY sick (thankfully!), though I am super snuffly, my throat hurts and I am just generally vile. 

I don't really understand why people are expected to ENJOY sick-days. It's not like when you are sick you go on wonderful adventures and meet amazing new friends with whom you have life changing experiences. 
In reality, you just sit at the computer for a while until you do a bit of homework and then maybe doze off in tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie (all this and you are not able to breathe out of your nose!). 

Maybe later I will do some stuff for my blog and possibly my YouTube. Earlier I set up my twitter, so you can now follow me at @openletters instead of following my personal twitter (which is where I post fandom stuff - and I understand that not all of you will just want to read my tweets about just how excited I am for 1989!!). 

So that's the latest in the roller-coaster that is my life right now... I think I'm going to take a nap now. 

(sorry, I know I am probably overreacting right now but I feel rubbish)

Best wishes (please give me your sympathy), 
Lucy x

Picture Day

Hey :)

Today was going to be the day that I tried making a YouTube channel (something that is very difficult when you can't really speak to cameras), but I have this awful cold that causes me to constantly snuffle and speak like a concussed frog, so I will leave that for another day. 

Another downside to my cold today was that it was picture day at school - the first picture day we have had since Year 7 - three years ago! Because we don't really change much over the course of secondary school and we only really use the pictures for the register and our library cards, we don't have our pictures taken very often. 
While this saves us the stress of having to look presentable once every year just for our pictures, it is quite unfortunate if the end result of picture day is embarrassing, as you are stuck with your picture for quite a while. Many of my friends have complained over the years about the way their 11-year-old selves look in the pictures, although I am probably one of the only people to have not complained as my picture is not that bad. Although I have a teeny tiny face in my picture, it is one of the only pictures I have of myself that 
1) Still kind of looks like me.
2) Shows my teeth without all the metal that covers them now. 

I would have happily kept that picture until I left school, to be honest. However, as I sat down in form this morning (snuffling), one of my friends launched into a conversation about how nervous she was for picture day (due to the horrific pictures she had ended up with in the past), and I had a mini-heart attack. 
It was picture day!!!
I automatically started to rant about how my hair looked like a mess (it had rained on the way to school and I had my hair down the entire time - oops!). My friend offered to do my hair at break (*breaths sigh of relief*), so I did survive. I don't usually like people who rant about their hair as it doesn't really matter much in my opinion, but my worry was due to the fact that in Year 7 girls with long hair had their hair greased back by the the camera woman (!!!) if they could not keep it out of their faces, and my friend's lovely ginger hair had turned out pretty awful. 

Luckily, in the end, my hair did not have to be greased back, and I think I looked alright (if you don't count the fact that my nose probably made me look like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer under the lighting). The camera woman told me to look happier after the first take, but I didn't really understand how I could possibly do that without raising my eyebrows so that I looked really stupid or showing my brace face, which would have undoubtedly blinded the camera woman. 

So yeah. That was my experience today. Hopefully I will get better soon so that I can try making my first YouTube videos (not that I can guarantee anything even then) and stop sounding like a concussed frog. 

Best wishes, 
Lucy x

(P.S: No, you are not looking at the wrong blog - I changed the name!)

Changes in my blog!

Hey guys :)

For quite a while now I have been thinking about some things I would like to change about my blog, namely:

• It's name
• It's template
• Whether or not I should have a YouTube channel linked to it. 

Let's start with my blog name... 

Although WhatTheFudge is a cool name, I feel like I should have a blog that is more useful in ways of representing my blog and it's content. 

The thing is, I have a few suggestions for what I could re-name my blog, but I need your help to decide. I couldn't possibly use my own name just in case someone from school found it or whatever, so I've narrowed it down to just a few made up names. Please tell me which of these names you prefer, or suggest your own ideas down in the comments:

AutumnLeaves

TheColoursInAutumn

OpenLetters

AutumnLeaves and TheColoursInAutumn are kind of random, although I think they are both gorgeous. 

However, I also love the name OpenLetters, because isn't that just what a blog is? A letter written to the bunch of people inhabiting your own little corner of the internet? It isn't directed to just one person, yet it can often feel as if that one letter was written for that one individual all the same. 

I also brainstormed a few names that referred to my personality, including my shyness. However, I think there is so much more to me than just that, and I realised I have NO IDEA how to describe myself. 

This is the exact same problem I had when trying to create a name for my blog in the first place, which is why I chose "WhatTheFudge" in the end. 

And as for my template... I like the colours, but I am just a bit bored of it. I don't know how I'd find a better template without having to spend an annoying amount of money on it. It would have to be satisfying and free. I'm sure this is just me being picky and silly, but it is annoying me. 

Last but not least, I have been considering YouTube again. 

I know I am probably just going to go through the cycle of setting everything up, trying to talk to a camera, stammering awkwardly and getting annoyed again. I have been through all this before and it stressed me out, which was why I started this blog in the first place. I was really surprised that I stammered while talking to a camera, as I have never stammered before in my life and I don't really get stage fright. I only really feel the pressure when I have to make speeches or talk to new people and my social anxiety kicks in. 

However, I want to give it another try. I don't really know why, I just do. I love the idea of being a YouTuber and giving these open letters a voice at last. Now I have a blog, I kind of feel like I am more prepared.

For instance, if I made a YouTube channel, I would like it to be a lot like my blog in that:

1) It would be a place for myself, strangers of the internet (internet friends) and a small group of friends I decided to share  it with (no one from school would stumble across it).

2) It would be a place for me to share my thoughts and opinions.

3) It would be a fun thing to do on the sidelines of my life (just a kind of hobby).

4) I would discuss the things in life that interested and directly affected me (e.g. teenage years, social anxiety and stuff). 

5) I would help people with my words. 

6) I would meet lovely new people through it. 

7) I would document small parts of my life that I wanted to remember forever. 

8) It would just be a free place for me to rant until I felt slightly better about whatever I was ranting about. 

9) It would just be my little corner of the internet. 

10) I wouldn't have to feel scared of people any more. 

Please tell me what you think of all these things in the comments so that these decisions become a bit easier. I would love to see your opinions :)

Speak to you later,

Lucy x

Just thoughts...

Heeeeey! :D

I thought I'd just make a blog post (because I can) and just talk about life. I've never really know what type of blog I have, since I kind of have a mishmash of quite a few things - from reviews to favourites of the month to mental disorders and stuff. I've kind of decided to refer to my blog as a "thoughts" blog, as all I ever seem to write down are my little daydreams and opinions (on just about everything!). 
That's all I'm really going to do in this blog post, because I can't really think of anything else, and this is my blog and I am free to write whatever I like (err - to an extent!). 

I have had a good week (with the extent of a few typical teenage dramas... but that's only natural, right?). Sometimes I wonder if I wrote down certain conversations I've had with my friends, went back in time and then showed these conversations to my 10 year old self, what I would think of them. What I really mean by this: some of the things I have gone through and have helped other people through - is it really normal to have gone through them at 14? I feel like some of the issues we (my friends an I) have faced are probably more common in 17-year-olds. There have been a lot of things going in recently that I cannot speak of for privacy reasons, but I feel as if these things should not be concerning us at this age. 

Oh well, we're dealing with them okay, I guess. Today a few of my friends and I went to the park after school and rolled around in leaves (not a good look when you have extremely long hair - I've got some super sexy shots of my friends saved on my phone). We kind of did an ironic photo-shoot by taking loads of pictures with one of us taking pictures on their phone and the others chucking crackling brown leaves over the person's hair. I will not include pictures as I don't feel my friends would appreciate that too much... 

My second favourite part of the day was when I got home and just pigged out on chocolate (Turkish Delight chocolate forever!) and read my new Shout magazine. Shout is probably my favourite magazine at the moment due to the YouTuber articles that I love so much. My favourites have to be the Zoe (Zoella) and Louise (Sprinkleofglitter) articles. I especially liked the interview they did a few months ago in which they gave advice to the readers, as they had really great responses and discussed how to deal with haters in a very mature manner. I also found the danisnotonfire poster they had in a previous issue very amusing, and it takes up around 20% of my bedroom wall.... Seriously, the size is scary.
Anyywaayyy... I would definitely recommend you buy the October issue if you are dying to read Zoe's new book "Girl Online", as it includes a HUGE extract from that! The article has just made me EVEN MORE EXCITED (if that is even possible!!). 

*removes one exclamation mark from sentence so I don't sound insane*

I like how it includes a great deal of how the main character is dealing with the effects of anxiety, due to the fact that (as I have mentioned before) I struggle with social anxiety myself, and it is just really nice to be able to relate to other people with the same problem.

*cue typical talent show sob story music*

*sniffs and wipes tear away with the back of my hand*

...Seriously though, I am so thankful to have someone to look up to who suffers just as I do (as well as someone who reminds me that I am not just crazy,or rude, as I am called sometimes after trying to escape social situations that scare the hell out of me). 

Not only this, but just in case I didn't love the story enough already (without even having read the book yet), I also love the fact that the story is told in the form of blog posts. I think it's a really sweet and inventive style for the story to be told in. Also, the blog is anonymous, so there isn't any holding back Penny's (the main character's) thoughts and opinions.

I am also really looking forward to next week as we have a day off on Thursday, and a couple of my friends and I have arranged to go to the Harry Potter Studios - YAY!! This is my second time, and I am really looking forward to it as I loved it the last time. I have never read the Harry Potter books, although I have watched all the movies (which is a crime, as I am so often reminded by my friends). To celebrate though, I have decided to start reading them - partly because I have kind of always wanted to (although I feel I have missed the Harry Potter generation) and partly to shut my friends up... I am partway through the first book at the moment and it is pretty cool, although I feel like I would have to be a child growing up with the trilogy to fully appreciate it. 

Sooo yeah. That's an insight to my day and a brief summary of my week. How was yours? Comment below :)

Lucy x